Love is Strange
by MermaidInDisguise
Summary: It's been six years since the two boys have separated at the world tree, off to find their own dreams. Now, empty, they are reunited under strenuous conditions. What will happen now that they are together once again but as men? (Warning: Strange ships! and foul language and sexual themes.)
1. Empty

A/N: Hey guys, so this is my first ever fanfiction that I have written for a "formal" Audience. First let me preface my story a little bit. Yes, Killugon is the main ship I am focusing on here. Yes, my other ship choices are a bit odd or strange. They won't be the main focus of the story so depending on you guys we will see how much of the other ships will be included in the plot (cue kawaii cat face) :3 Please bare with me, for I am going into a difficult year of school (Senior whoop whoop!) and I am in my school's marching band as well as an honors student, so it may take a week or more to get an update out. I would love to hear anything you guys have to say to me, i.e. rate/comment/favorite/follow/criticize. So please enjoy!

* * *

Empty. Gon knew there was something missing even after these past four years. He had accomplished his goal. He met Ging atop the world tree all those years ago. They spent a month catching up and when Ging and Gon had felt restless, itching for action, they departed from each other. Gon decided to live like Ging, but did not realize what all that entailed. Ging had a goal, a purpose, while Gon just stared at the fading image of his father, a blurred image growing fainter each passing day and never giving more clues as to what Gon should be doing. He figured that maybe it was being too close to his friends, so he slowly weaned off of communicating with them. Although Gon didn't realize it, that is when the emptiness began. This void he felt in his chest, a great chasm and Gon stood closer and closer to the edge with each passing day. It has been a while since he has seen Leorio, Knuckle, Shoot, Palm, and Kito-san. He hasn't seen Kurapika because he has been so focused on his mission to recover his brothers lost eyes and eliminate the spiders. A face flashed in front of Gon's vision. _Killua._ The white hair boy from his childhood was constantly coming to his mind. Killua was the same age as him when they first met on the hunter's exam. They spent two years constantly by each others side. The porcelain skinned boy of twelve had been his first friend, his best friend. On his island there had been no other kids that were his age. Gon's heart ached at the thought of Killua now. He remembered their parting words. "This is no good. If we stay here any longer. . ." Killua had replied with a wistful knowing, "yeah. . ." Gon's feeling had been all over the place. Emotions he had never felt before pulled his stomach into a twist, even now his stomach hurt just to think about it and his heart felt like it was about to jump right out of his rib cage.

All of this he recapped as he sat on top of the world tree once again. He was twelve when he had started this journey, fourteen when he departed from all of his friends, and six years later he was approaching his twenty-first birthday. His twelve year old form had slowly faded and morphed into a handsome young man. His gravity-defying hair still defied gravity, but with it being longer, it semi morphed into a shape that flowed down his head, he had not had time to cut it while living alone in the wilderness. His clothes he had outgrown rapidly were replaced with a ragged sheet he had found in an abandoned cottage, the same signature green he normally wore, that he wore like a toga, keeping it in place with rope that he would also use to sometimes build a hammock when he was far enough into the woods where no one could see him lying naked, relaxing under the tree's dappled sunlight. He often would braid his hair so that it would stay back and out of his way when he was hunting animals or stalking poachers. He knew more about the world. He knew pain, and he knew hunger. He knew happiness and joy. He knew content and he knew sorrow. When he left whale island all those years ago he knew these things, but he had never experienced them in full force. He trained, and trained, and trained, alone. He got to the point where he could release his signature move in just over a second. He has flown on the back of the bird which perches atop the world tree, the largest recorded bird in human history. He has seen the world in which his father spoke of beyond the horizon. He had thought of attempting to reach the same place his father was reaching toward, but the idea did not hold the same appeal as it might have in the "old days" with all his friends. Another wave of nostalgia was stopped by the rigging of Gon's old and out-dated beatle phone. To his slight surprise Leorio's name was the one to pop up on the screen. He let out a sigh he had been holding in. _I guess that I need some more excitement in my life, I'm sure that the doctor will provide plenty of that, especially since I cannot figure out for the life of me what I should be doing._ Gon answered the phone call. "Hello?"

"Gon? **Gon!** " Gon thought that he had lost his hearing temporarily, having to remove the phone from his ear for a few seconds.

"Yes, Leorio? You are being quite loud," Gon inwardly chuckled at the older man's childish antics.

"Sorry! I am just excited that you actually answered for once! Hey, how are you? Wow, I can't believe that you actually answered!" Leorio rambled on and on not leaving any time for him to catch his breath. He really did sound like Gon had when they first met each other.

"I've been busy." Gon replied with a slightly remorseful tone. "What have you called me about today?"

"I have an announcement to make, but I would preferably like to tell everyone together and in person," Leorio's smile could be heard through the phone. Gon could practically see the goofy smile mixed with the pleading eyes looking up at Gon.

". . . I guess I have some free time I could spare," Gon chuckled, outwardly this time, holding in the twelve year old who still lived within him. "Where is everyone meeting, and how long do I have to get to said destination?" He attempted to give off a defeated air to cover his bursting excitement. _Maybe I will get a clue as to what I should be doing by going to see everyone._

"Wait, you'll really come?" Leorio shouted a 'ya-hoo' away from the phone. Gon could mentally picture the fistpump into the air. "I'm really glad! Ecstatic! We have been planning to meet up in a week in Yorknew city, do you think you can make it by then? I have a hotel room booked for you for a couple of days for when you arrive." Anxiety had started to creep into the older male's voice at the possibility of the younger male's ability to not show up to the meeting by then, causing Leorio's question to hitch a little higher than he had expected.

"Ne, one week? I can make it by then for sure." Gon knew he would be hard pressed for time if he were to make it on time while also cleaning up in a public bath and buying new clothes that would be appropriate to walk around in in society that also fit him. "Alright, I will see you then!" Gon hung up the phone, smiled, and jumped down from the world tree, flying as though he were the thunderbird living in the nest that was now above his head.

* * *

"Yes!" Leorio shouted, jumping with his joy. Leorio looked to his companion situated on his left. She smiled sweetly back at him, then looked back down at the game she had open on her phone. Kurapika looked over at Leorio, rolling his eyes. _If I didn't know any better, I would say that Gon is already here._ Kurapika smiled at the warm thoughts of Gon returning to the forefront of his mind from the memory reserves. Leorio continued, "He will be here in a week! We will all be united for this joyous occasion!" He picked up his female companion, lifting her up and swinging her around the hotel room, their giggles filled the room. The man beside Kurapika spoke up.

"Yes, we all heard. We were in the same room and you are none too quiet when it comes to Gon or the little missy," The mysterious male winked at the blushing female still giggling in Leorio's soft embrace. He reached down to kiss Kurapika's hand. "Besides, what if these two boys do not approve of your choice in women? I am sure that Gon probably would accept anyone, but Killua might not be so understanding. What happens then? Or even if they do not object to the pairing itself, what if they say they are too busy to stay? Have you completely thought this through?" The male gave the couple a inquisitive gaze, his dark eyes bearing down with the weight of his questions.

"I know that things will work out eventually, even if they do not start out looking as though they do," the black haired female spoke for the first time since her beloved had gotten off the phone with Gon. "Love shall prevail above all." She said this last line with glossed black eyes, before they once again returned to their normal shade of pale blue. The dark eyed man shivered looking at her talent. _What I wouldn't do to steal it one day, but Kurapika would throw a fit._

"That is true," Kurapika added in his two cents. "We don't really chose the ones we love." His scarlet eyes told everything, the intense passion he felt for the dark eyed man, the irascible anger still held against the spiders, the immense melancholy of his fallen and slaughtered brethren. "I can be angry and sad all I want, but that does not stop the penetrating happiness that comes from being with you, my dear." Kurapika kissed the man ever so gently on the cheek, as to not disturb the other couple in the room with their passionate love.

Leorio sat deep in thought, hugging his love closer to his chest. He nestled his head in the dip of her collar bone. "That's right. No matter what either boy says, it won't change the fact that I love you, my sweet little turtle dove."

His female companion replied, ". . . Love you lots, like tater tots, and even more than vodka shots!" Leorio smiled and kissed the skin closest to his lips, gently suckling like a newborn baby on its mother for the first time. The pink on the female's cheeks grew to a deeper rose shade as she held back a moan. Kurapika coughed loudly, breaking Leorio's concentration. The older man smiled softly at the blonde male, a soft blush of embarrassment spreading across his nose.

"Come on now, we aren't kissing all up on each other now are we?" Kurapika's lover chided the young couple, yet looked on with longing to kiss his own lover.

"Speaking of kissing, I wonder if Killua has found anyone worth his spoiled time?" Leorio's voice dripped with sarcasm. "Gon hasn't left the wilderness, so it's safe to assume that he is as chaste as ever."

"But remember that time Gon went on a date with Palm, and Killua got all jealous? Plus Gon said he had gone on many dates on Whale island with the women who were visiting. I wonder which one has the most experience now?" Kurapika's face moved to one of ponderance, then a shadow passed over his expression. "I hope they can find happiness like we have. . ." His voice trailed off into a minor key.

"I am sure that they are happy, well I am sure that Gon is at least. Killua is at the very least contempt. These two are not to be underestimated, you'll see Kurapika!" The female boldly spoke in an energetic and engaging tone.

Kurapika smiled once more, _Yeah, they're fine. They have to be._

* * *

Killua looked down at his watch for the third time in that same minute. 12:34. _Damn it all to hell._ The time seemed to be dragging it's feet on purpose just to piss the white haired man off. _I just want to see my fucking sister again, is that too much to ask? Not to mention someone else who might end up actually showing his ass up for once. . ._ Killua stopped where his thoughts were going. Killua hadn't spent time in person with his sister in two and a half years when she left to explore the world on her own. Since then, Killua has just been been wandering aimlessly. He had finally defeated Ill-nii to ensure Alluka's safety before she had left. He didn't really know what to do with himself other than eat every single chocolate robot that he could come across in his wanderings. Killua felt. . . baren. Even though people no longer feared him as they once did, even though he could hold his head high, he could not shake these feelings, or rather lack thereof.

Killua shook from the anticipation of having something to do for once, and maybe a little bit from the coffee he got because of his anxiousness. _This reminds me of the time we spent. . . no._ He once again stopped himself from thinking of the boy he could call his best friend then.

"Now boarding flight 32 bound toward Yorknew City," the overhead announcer woman came on.

 _Finally,_ Killua thought, _I am almost there._

* * *

Alluka paced up and down the room for what seemed like the thousandth time. A week had passed since Leorio had gotten ahold of Gon on the phone. Neither boy had shown up yet and everyone was on edge. Leorio sat twiddling his thumbs, while Kurapika sat clenching his lover's hand. The air was so thick one could cut it with a knife, but before anyone started to go truly insane, there was a knock at the door. "Who is it?"Leorio called out while Alluka tripped to grab the door handle, flinging the newly unlocked door wide open.

There in the light of the room, stood Gon, properly clothed and brandishing a new suitcase to hold his new clothes. Alluka's face fell slightly, but it was instantly back when Gon gave her a soft smile. "Hey, Alluka, how have you been?" Gon's voice was deeper, huskier. He reached out and enveloped Alluka into a strong hug. Alluka could smell the forest still on him, oak and pine mixing together in an all but unpleasant scent.

"I've been great! You haven't seen my brother yet have you?" Alluka asked in a worried tone.

"No, I have not seen him, but I hope that he will come soon. I am looking forward to seeing him as well," Gon gave that soft heartwarming smile once again.

"That's too bad," Kurapika smiled back at Gon's smile. "I'm so glad that you're here now! It's been so long!" He released his lover's hand to get up and give Gon his next hug.

"I've missed you too Kurapika, and you Leorio, and you. . . wait who is this? He looks kinda familiar, have I met you before?" Gon turned toward the man Kurapika left sitting on the ground. He had black hair and a bandage wrapped around his forehead.

"Yes, we have met before, in this very city when you were a small boy still," The man in question responded. "I used to be the leader of the spider, but it seems fate would have me fall in love with the man determined to get revenge, so here I am. My name is Kuroro. Nice to formally meet you Gon Freecs." Kuroro held out his hand for Gon.

Gon gently took his hand and shook it, shock now evident in his expression. His mouth hung open for a second, but then he shook his head and quietly laughed. "The pleasure is all mine so long as Kurapika is happy."

Kurapika plopped down into his lover's lap. "I am very happy Gon. Thank you for not freaking out."

"Hey, come on now! It's my turn for a hug!" Leorio puffed.

"Very well," Gon turned and embraced the elder man, Leorio's tall and lanky figure no match for the well trained body that now had ahold of him. Gon squeezed Leorio, lifting him off the ground. "How are you old man?"

"I've been, Hey! I am not old! That's something Killua would say! Where did my precious little Gon go?" Leorio fake wept on his knees in front of the younger male.

"There, there," Alluka came around to pat Leorio on his head. "What do you expect? You are quite a bit older than him." She had a sly smile on her face as she teased Leorio.

"Why you little. . .!" Leorio grabbed her waist bringing her down on top of him laying on the floor. He flipped her over, pinning her arms above her head. "I may be _older,_ but I am most certainly not old, little missy!" He gave her a sloppy kiss while Alluka squealed at his sudden affection.

"I am guessing this has got something to do with why you called me here?" Gon gave a quizzical gaze to Kurapika to avoid the lover's scene unfolding at his feet, his cheeks dusted a light pink.

"Leorio! How many times do I have to tell you? Cut that out at once!" Kurapika's scolding caused the older man to leap up off of Alluka.

"Sorry Kurapika, sometimes I just can't help myself! She called me old! I had to get her back!"

"Sometimes I think you are more of a kid the more you grow older!" The older man was taken aback.

"I am not! I'm just trying to have fun! Why don't you try loosening up a bit, huh?" Leorio went to launch himself when they were interrupted by another figure standing in the doorway.

"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY PRECIOUS SISTER YOU PERVERSE OLD MAN?" Killua bellowed, his hair standing on in from electric sparks. He went to launch himself at Leorio who was launching towards Kurapika now to escape rather than chide.

"Ne, Killua!" Gon moved himself in front of the raging man. "Killlluaaaaaa look at me!"

Killua stopped and looked Gon straight in the eyes. He seemed to forget what he was doing, or why he was there. They stood their staring for what seemed like an eternity to them. Killua reached out and placed his hand on the raven-haired males cheek. "Is it really you?"

"Killua. . ." Gon's voice choked out. He reached out and enveloped his best friend in a hug. "Ne, I've really missed you!" Gon could no longer hold back his sobs and his fists clenched the material hugging the other man's porcelain skin.

"Gon. . ." Killua could barely manage a whisper while silent tears streamed down his face. He returned the young man's embrace, squeezing harder than was necessary. "I've missed you, too. Please don't leave again."

"Awe look at their beautiful reunion! It brings tears to my eyes!" Leorio sniffled. The moment words came out of Leorio's mouth though, Killua's head shot back up, eyes boring holes into the older man's skull. Leorio stiffened beside his own best friend. Alluka ran protectively in front of her lover.

"Onii-chan stop! Please!" She cried out, trying to get her brother to calm back down.

"I will murder you help me, Gon release me," Killua went back to struggling to reach the older man.

"No Killua, you can't! He's our friend!" Gon tried to persuade Killua into coming back to his senses, but Killua's resolve only strengthened. He held on tighter to his best friends body as Killua let out a scream that was almost inhuman. Sparks flew all around them now, the electricity flowing freely from Killua's body, but Gon refused to let go, taking most of the electricity inside his own body. The four others in the hotel room rounded into a ball, hiding from the torment of lightning strikes going off around them. The lights in the entire hotel blew out instantaneously. Gon screamed dissonant with Killua's as he took most of the electricity into himself. There was enough electricity inside the room to equal a thousand lightning bolts. Finally Killua's energy fizzled out, and the two young men fell to the floor, still in each others arms.


	2. Alone

AN: Hey! I was able to finish this chapter a bit quicker than I expected. I was surprised at how many views my story has gotten already! If you guys have any suggestions I can see what I can do about putting a few into the story :3 This part focuses more on the two young boys. I hope you all enjoy! Here's the meaning of the Japanese in this chapter:

Ohayo = good morning

Hai = yes

Gomen'nasai = I'm sorry

baka = idiot or fool

I'm sorry if I forgot any others!

* * *

Killua woke up in a bed that was not his own. Have I become so unobservant to my surroundings now that people can move me in my sleep? Killua shook his head. Surely there is another explanation for this. He moved to get out of the large bed when he realized there was a pair of arms surrounding his waist. Not seeing the person beside him, he pulled back the covers. Gon had his head resting against Killua's well defined chest, his hair, recently cut, lay somewhat fanning Gon's sleeping profile. He's so. . . innocent. Killua brushed Gon's hair back away from his face, amazed in Gon's natural beauty. His eyelashes fanned out evenly against his cheek, lips slightly parted with light warm breaths escaping. Killua's eyes fixed on the plump lips desperately wishing to be kiss. Wait, what the hell? What am I thinking right now? I don't really want to kiss him, do I? I thought I was done being so hormonal with my teenage years. So why. . . Killua's head leaned down towards Gon's without consent of his will. He snapped out of his trance when Gon winced in his slumber. Killua had touched the other male's back in his daze. That's when Killua realized that not only was Gon sleeping on him, tantalizingly so, but they were also naked in the bed. When did our clothes come off? Killua fought back the urge to kiss the sleeping form once more, moving to examine the source of Gon's wince. All up and down Gon's back jagged red lines marred the otherwise flawless skin. What on Earth happened? Slowly, Killua's memory came back to him. Him finding Alluka with Leorio. Him losing all control. Gon saving him from destroying the older man. Gon allowing all his electricity to flow into him. How the hell is he still alive? I guess the electricity created enough friction to disintegrate our clothes. "Oi, Gon, it's time to wake up!" Killua gently nudged the other male. Gon nuzzled his spot on Killua's chest and hugged him around his waist.

"O.. ha... yo... Killu..." Gon's voice was heavy with sleep as he attempted to get up, only to cringe and fall back on to Killua's chest. "Ne, Killua, it hurts. . ." Gon's face scrunched in concentration to not let the pains full force show.

"Wait here, and I'll go get Leorio so he can take a look at you," Killua gently moved Gon onto the pillow originally meant for him to sleep on.

"Killua, wait. . . Don't leave me. . ." Gon whimpered.

"I won't kill him, and he is only two rooms away. I won't be long." Killua reached down and ran his hands through the other male's hair to reassure him. "Promise." He got up, pulled out some clothes to put on and got dressed in basketball shorts and a t-shirt. He was in such a rush "he even forgot his boxers. He walked as fast as he could as to not alarm anyone who might see him or his bouncing buddy in his shorts. He gave three rapid taps on the door of his destination. "Open this door right now, or this time Gon will NOT be here to save your stupid old ass this time."

"Hai, hai, I'm coming!" a very sleepy Leorio opened the door, wearing flannel pajama pants and no shirt, his chest while not sculpted, it wasn't entirely unpleasant to look at.

"Get your medical supplies. You are coming with me." Killua's voice was completely stoic.

"Why what's wrong?"

"What's wrong? I just pumped enough electricity to kill four grown ass men into one single man, and you want to ask me what's wrong? What's wrong with your head?" Killua scoffed heading back toward the room he found himself and Gon in, letting himself back in and held the door open until Leorio had managed to make his way to the room. What a slow ass idiot.

"Ne, Killua? You're back!" Gon tried to rise again, momentarily forgetting the pain he was in, until his actions brought reality back to his mind. "Nnnggggghhhhhhh. . . you really did a number on me, huh Killu?" Gon let out an exasperated sigh.

Killua froze. "Please refrain from calling me that name, please."

"Gomen'nasai, Killua. I'm sorry, I won't do it again, if you promise not to do this again." Killua laughed and unfroze.

"You got it."

"So let's take a look at all the damage, alright?" Leorio placed his briefcase on the bed next to Gon, pulling the covers back far enough to see most of the damage while still keeping Gon covered in all the necessary places. Even then, Killua had issues trying to not avidly stare at the well defined V leading down into a more desired location on the young man's body. Gon's eyes were shut as Leorio examined the normal things one would for a check up before going any further, so Killua used this time to examine all parts of the young man. Gon was Killua's opposite in every aspect. His skin was even more golden, like the sun itself lived just under the surface, while Killua's albino skin was as pale as it ever was, a shadow cast behind the first layer. His hair was still straight, even when disheveled against the pillow, while Killua was lucky to ever get a comb to come back out of his mop. His shoulders were broader than Killua's and his body screamed power with all of the muscles that he had acquired, but not in the sense that he became a meat wagon. Killua was strong and his muscles were outlined, defined, but they were small not allowing others to fully grasp how much strength the young man was hiding which normally worked to his advantage. His eyes wandered back to the v once again. His skin looks tempting, so. . . inviting. As he tried to get a grasp of what was lower on Gon he noticed the bulge the sheets did a poor job of hiding. Holy shit! Killua's face became inflamed as thoughts of what he could be doing to his best friend flooded his mind. This isn't right! He's my friend! I shouldn't be thinking of things like that about him! No matter how attractive. . . tantalizing. . Killua was pulled back into reality when he felt the drool drip down his chin. I can't let Gon find out that I think about these kinds of things about him. What if he really never talks to me again this time? I just got him back, and I am not about to lose him.

"Ne, Killua, what are you thinking about right now?" Gon questioned the young man, his eyes trained on his best friend. "You're blushing red as a strawberry!"

"N-n-nothing! It's none of your business anyways!" Killua turned his head shielding his eyes with his long bangs. Gon chuckled but instantly regretted the action. The movement forced his ribs against his skin in a very uncomfortable angle, pressing on the bruising under the surface. Killua rushed to his friend's side.

"Don't push yourself like that you idiot!"

"Yeah, yeah."

"It would seem all his vitals are functioning normally. The only damage he really took was internal bruising. I can give him pain relievers but there isn't much else I can do at this point since there is no real injury." Leorio interrupted the awkward encounter between the two boys. "Just make sure to get plenty of rest and take this when it hurts too much, 'kay?" he held up a bottle of medication up so that Gon wouldn't have to strain his head to see what it looked like.

"I'll make sure he does," Killua responded before Gon could complain about the medicine.

"Okay, I guess my job here is done. I'll see you two later. Ciao." Leorio gathered up his briefcase and walked toward the door. Always the responsible one, huh Killua? You can't afford to be reckless and expect Gon to still be around safe and sound.

"Don't think I've forgiven you for courting my sister behind my back, old man," Killua added a hint of threat to his tone of voice.

Leorio looked over his shoulder at the silver haired man, "Understood, but you should probably know that she wants to talk to you about it too. She has feelings too." He walked out of the room allowing the door to close behind him.

Killua released a sigh. "Well, I'll deal with that later. That's one thing taken care of. Now, take your medicine and we can watch some show on the T.V. while you get some rest. Once you're better we can do fun stuff like we used to, okay? But you have to get better first." Killua opened the bottle and handed two of the orange pills to Gon. Gon stared at the outstretched hand for a moment before taking the pills from Killua slowly.

"Deal," and he threw them in his mouth swallowing dry to get it over with.

After all this time, we are still just children after all, huh?

* * *

Killua was totally in tune with the game that he had found to play once he thought Gon had fallen asleep. Gon lay there in silence as to not alert Killua to his awakened status. Today had been perfect, well as perfect as it could be with Gon not being able to correctly move. They had fallen right back into the same rhythm they had six years ago. Calm, carefree. Gon wanted to get better as fast as he could. He wanted to be able to play with Killua, wanted to laugh with Killua, wanted to touch Killua, wanted to kiss… Kiss? Where did this come from? Gon was having trouble understanding these feelings he had now that the two boys were back together. He hadn't felt this way before with anyone else. Aunt Mito said that you want to kiss someone you wish to spend the rest of your life with, but she also said that it would be with a girl. So why do I feel this way with Killua? Gon couldn't help stare at his friends back, the thin white shirt left nothing to imagination. If anything, it accented every angle of muscle and curve of body his friend had. He was helpless to his friends radiating beauty, but there was a darkness residing in every crevice, every pore. That didn't throw Gon off, rather, it just made the allure of Killua that much stronger. I know, I'll ask Kurapika! He and Kuroro are in love, right? Maybe he can help me understand if these feelings I am encountering about Killua are the same right?

"Ne, Killua, can I ask you a question?"

"Hey, how long have you been awake? Sure I guess." His friend paused his game and turned his head around so the blue light of the game lit up his hair, granting him his own silver halo that wasn't nen induced.

"Have you ever. . ." Gon turned his head to stare out the window of the hotel room. "Do you mind sharing a bed with me? I'm not a burden, am I?"

"Where did this come from Gon? Of course not. If anything it saves me time so I don't have to worry about you from far away. If you need help, I am right next to you." Gon's face seemed to relaxe and he released a sigh.

"That's good…" and he was asleep once more. Killua chuckled to himself while getting up and covering the young man with the blankets that had been cast slightly aside. Gon was still naked after all, and Killua didn't want to be tempted anymore than he already was. I thought I had grown out of my little crush on him a long time ago, but now it's back in full force. I'll just have to man up and deal like I always have. There's no way he would ever love a man, not when Mito raised him to be such a lady charmer. Killua got up and walked into the bathroom to take a shower.

Gon opened his eyes once he heard the bathroom door shut. He rose from the bed. With the pain medication and his incredibly fast healing, he hardly felt any pain at all, just the dull ache from long inactivity. He grabbed the fluffy white robe that was hanging up on the closet door that came complementary to the room. He slipped out of the room careful to not alert the young man in the shower. He walked next door to the room that Kurapika and Kuroro had. He gently knocked, "Kurapika? Are you there? I need to talk to you about something." The door opened after a few seconds.

"What is it Gon?" Gon looked over his shoulder.

"Can I come in?"

"Of course you can," Kurapika beckoned the young man in. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah, I've been resting all day with Killua, and Leorio gave me some medicine so it doesn't hurt so much."

"So what got you out of bed to come talk to me about? Couldn't it have waited?"

"Not really, where is Kuroro?" Gon asked look curiously around the room for Kurapika's lover.

"He went out to go do some errands. He should be back in another hour or so, why? Does it involve him too?"

"Kind of, but I feel better knowing that we are alone."

"Okay."

". . ."

Gon stared at the ground intently, his cheeks growing a faint red tint to them.

"How do you feel when you're around Kuroro?"

"Where is this coming from Gon?"

"I'm just curious, that's all."

Kurapika hesitated a little bit, not really wanting to reaccount how he got with his lover right now, but he was having trouble resisting Gon's natural charms. "Alright. I guess when I first met him, I felt an intense anger towards him, my heart pounded just at the sight of him, but then when I met him later, my heart pounded still but the anger was gone. Instead I felt nervous. My hands began to sweat at the mere thought of him looking at me with those eyes I believed could pierce my soul. Yet even though I could barely keep myself standing when I was near him, I couldn't stop from thinking about how it would feel if he touched me. Slowly I allowed myself to get closer to my former enemy.

"I became closer and closer to the man in front of me. Slowly but surely I realized that I had become infatuated with him and I felt anxious when he wasn't with me. Then one day, when I could no longer contain these feelings inside of me, I confessed them to Kuroro. Thankfully, he didn't turn me away, but instead embraced me and we shared our first kiss."

"... I see."

"Now tell me what your reasoning is for wanting to know this?"

"..."

They were interrupted by a knocking at the door, "Hey Kurapika? Is Gon here? He wandered off, and I can't seem to find him. I'm starting to worry."

"I'm right here Killua." Gon had traversed his way across the room to open the door for his friend.

"Don't scare me like that Gon! I thought you were sleeping and then when I got out of the shower you were gone!" Killua gave an exasperated sigh.

"I'm sorry, Killua, I promise I won't do it again," Gon sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "I was feeling restless and decided I needed to go for a walk when Kurapika invited me in to talk for a little while." Kurapika's eyebrow raised slightly at this half truth.

"If you're feeling that restless then let's go down to the lobby. They have a restaurant down there that's close and it seems like they would have good food, that way you get your restlessness out and you aren't overexerting yourself." Gon looked at him with excited amber eyes, with a hint of some other emotion in his eyes, the same emotion that was behind the crystal blue eyes.

"Yay!" Gon pumped a fist in the air and ran past Kuroro out the door, "Sorry Kuroro!"

"Idiot! Don't go off running like that!" Killua went to chase after the senseless boy, but turned to look at Kurapika. "Is he alright?"

"... Yeah Killua, he's the same as ever." Kurapika gave him a soft smile. "You two have fun, but not too much fun." Kurapika snickered at the horrified expression on the younger man's face.

"...Baka." and Killua went flying after his friend.

"Well those two sure are lively. Are they always like this," Kuroro gave a curious glance to his lover as he let the door shut. He moved the distance between them, embracing the blonde.

Kurapika returned the embrace. He looked up at Kuroro, "Energetic? Yes, but they are different now too. I think it's time we came up with a plan."

"A plan? This sounds like it should be fun. When do we start?" Kuroro nibbled on his lovers ear knowingly.

Kurapika pulled back to look at Kuroro and his face lit up into a mischievous smile, "It's already started."


	3. Why did

Hey guys! So I have a few things to apologize for. 1. This chapter isn't very long 2. This took longer than I wanted to write. As this is still a new story, I wanted to encourage you guys to not lose faith. It's been a really crazy week! (skip the next paragraph)

You little rebel, I like you :3 Haha, anyways, this week has been absolute chaos! I had summer band every morning and night, and I was sleeping during the day and night just to get by. My friend is moving four hours away, and it makes me super sad, so we threw her a going away party. At said party, my other friend fell down **NEXT** to the stairs. Not down them, but next to them. A four foot drop. She fractured her ankle, hit her head, and got pretty scratched up. On top of this, my mother and I never see eye to eye so we are constantly screaming at each other. Then yesterday during band rehersal, another friend was sent to the hospital. It ended up being just dehydration and possible heart condition, but all I had known was the directors were looking for the red medical box and the sirens. Didn't know who it was until they came back and asked if anyone had her parents number. So I spent my Friday night in the ER waiting to go see her, while trying to defend myself from unwanted predators (a old man with withered skin, blood shot eyes, and leaning _way_ too close to me for comfort.) And to top it all off I had to take Senior pictures today. Needless to say it was incredibly crazy.

So once again I apologize for the shortness and the delay ( and now the long-winded story of my life x.x). I hope the next one will come out a lot sooner! Thanks! 3

* * *

The two boys sat across from each other in the hotel restaurant. They had finished placing their colossal order of three appetizers, two entrees apiece, and two full chocolate cakes. The waitress had hurried away, afraid they would gobble her if she wasn't able to get them food in time. She laid down their drinks before scurrying away again.

"I see you still just as much as you used too," Killua smiled fondly at the man sitting across from the table, who was still in the same white fluffy robe, much to their pleasure, although for different reasons.

"I also haven't eaten for almost two days now. But your draw to chocolate has yet to dull into your adulthood life," Gon chuckled.

Killua's mouth watered just thinking about the two chocolate cakes he was about to eat, "My love for chocolate will never die. It is an eternal flame in which the waters of the oceans could never quench."

"Wow, that's some serious devotion to one thing."

"When it comes to chocolate, everything become serious."

"Haha, I get it. I'm just waiting for the day you become diagnosed with Diabetes and the doctor removes every shred of chocolate from your diet!" Gon gave a teasing smile, but Killua was not so easily amused by his joke.

"Why would you say such a thing! That would be a fate worse than death!" Killua's face contorted into a frown, not unlike that from the popular meme on the internet of a 'grumpy cat.'

Gon couldn't contain the torrent of laughter that came forth with that face. Killua continued to pout. Their little scene was interrupted by the bringing of food from the the kitchen. There were three waiters bringing the food, because a single one was not enough for the sheer amount of food. The waiters were surprised when they only saw the two boys, for they thought they were feeding a party of six or more. The conversation did not pick back up until both of the boys had eaten more than their fair share, and they were awaiting the arrival of the colossal cakes.

Unbeknownst to the two eating inside, Kurapika and Kuroro lie in wait. The two boys walk out of the in lobby restaurant and into the actual lobby. A stranger walked by, pushing Killua in to Gon, which led to Gon catching him in a cradled position. Before Killua could take repercussions on the one who had committed the "crime," the two boys eyes locked into each other. A hearty blush rose in Killua's face, covering from ear to ear, while Gon had the largest grin on his face. They stood there like that, until Kurapika came around the corner and coughed loudly, barely able to contain his giggles. Killua pushed away from Gon with a huff of embarrassment.

"What's up with you, Killua?" Kurapika teased. "You look like you've seen a ghost!"

The young man's blush somehow managed to grow even deeper. Before he could embarrass himself further, Gon spoke up, "So what are you doing Kurapika?"

"Oh, nothing much. We were just about to go for a walk. Would you to care to join us?" Kurapika had an innocent smile on his face that pissed Killua off.

"Gon needs rest," Killua had started to become defensive, no longer trusting the blonde man, while Gon remained as clueless as ever.

"I think it would be fun Killua! I feel fine!" Gon's cheery attitude broke through his friends resolve.

"Yeah Killua, it will be fun!" Kurapika winked at the silver haired man.

"..."

"Do I have time to get changed real quick?" Gon was already walking backwards, about to sprint to the hotel room to get changed.

"Do you ever just stop and take time to recover?" Killua made his way past him, pressing the button to summon the elevator.

"Nope! I told you I heal fast!" Gon's enthusiasm was the most infectious thing Killua had ever encountered. "We'll be right back!"

"Go ahead, we'll wait here," Kurapika finally able to speak. Killua rolled his eyes and entered the elevator.

"Why?" Killua didn't look at Gon; he just pressed the button for their floor and intended to wait for a response.

"Because, Kurapika is our friend, and I'm tired of staying inside! I haven't spent this long away from nature in years! I need fresh air," The light in Gon's eyes hadn't faded one bit in the years they were parted.

"You never change," Killua said, more to himself than the other male.

"Neither do you," Killua turned and Gon had put on the largest smile possible, one that stretched his eyes and reached his ears. Gon rushed out of the elevator, grabbing Killua's hand and dragging him down the hallway. It wasn't until they reached the room and were inside that Killua noticed that their hands were still together and their fingers interlaced. A blush rose to his cheeks and he tried to gently pull away. Gon only squeezed tighter, not wanting to let go.

He looked down at his feet, his voice soft, "I like holding Killua's hand."

Killua was taken back by not only Gon's straight forward confession, but at what he actually said. He was rendered speechless. His mouth flopped open like a fish out of water. "Does Killua not like holding my hand?"

"...It's not that…"

"It's okay, I won't do it any more if you don't want to," Gon pulled his hand away.

Killua was the one to squeeze this time, "No, Gon. I like holding your hand too, but we can't do it with other people around, okay?" His heart pounded in his throat, not being able to lie to his friend.

"Okay!" In his enthusiasm, he forgot about the robe and jumped on the silver haired man to embrace him in a very large hug, bone crushing to any other man. Killua's face bloomed red like strawberries in the summer time when he realized the front of the robe had flapped open and Gon was naked hugging him. Either way, he still gently returned the hug, which was something that Gon was not used to. He squeezed harder at the reciprocated affection. The hug lasted longer than that of a friends, but neither boy noticed nor cared.

Finally, Killua pulled away to stare into amber eyes, "Kurapika is waiting on us."

"Oh yeah!" Gon pulled back and completely shedding the robe standing there in all his glory. He walked to the dresser that was his. Eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "Ne Killua?" He had turned back around to face Killua, not ashamed of his naked body.

Killua averted his gaze, "Yes Gon?"

"I only had one pair of clothes, and they burnt whenever you released your electricity."

Killua blushed as he suggested, "You can wear some of mine then." He waltzed to his own dresser that was next to Gon's, a slight limp to his step to conceal the warmth pooling lower on his body, an unwanted reaction to the earlier hug.

"Killua, are you hurt?" Concern flooded Gon's face when he saw Killua limping.

"I'm fine. It's just a cramp." He hated lying to the amber eyed man.

"Do you need me to massage it out?" Curiosity started to leak into those amber eyes, his thoughts wandering to how the porcelain skin would feel under his hands, his thoughts purely innocent of nature.

"I'll be fine, don't worry about me okay? You are the one that needs to take it easy," Killua hid his eyes behind his bangs. _Damn, I'm getting soft. Even lying is becoming an issue now. Gon really is something._

"Ne, but if Killua is hurting I want to help him!" Eagerness added itself to the list of emotions that shown in his eyes.

"... I'll make a deal, if it still hurts later, then you can help, but for now just put these on, okay?" Killua handed him a pair of dark jeans that were an inch too short for him now and a tee-shirt of a popular rock band.

"Deal!" Gon quickly got dressed. Killua blushed. _I can't decide if his ass looks better with or without the pants on! Geez, who does he think he is, flaunting that ass like that? And in my clothes no_ less!Then immediately blushed some more at the impurities of his thoughts and the fact Gon was wearing his clothes, _comando_. "Ready?"

"Lead the way."


	4. You

Hey guys! So School has started back now and I'm a senior! (Whoo!) but I'm taking college level courses. I wanted your guys' opinion. Would you rather 1. Long chapters and a longer wait for them, or 2. Quicker but shorter chapters? I'm trying my best but I just wanted to hear what Y'all had to say! Thanks for the support, and as always feel free to review or pm if you have any questions/comments/concerns :3 On to the story! (Sorry it's short this time)

* * *

"It took you two long enough, what were you doing up there anyways?" Kurapika's lover teased the two boys as they sauntered back into the lobby fifteen minutes later.

"It's none of your-" Killua started.

"I didn't have another pair of clothes left, so I had to borrow a pair from Killua." Gon, honest to a fault as always.

"So Gon is wearing your clothes now, huh?" a smirk grew on Kuroro's face, while Killua's paled, if that was even possible.

"It's not like that," Killua gruffed, hiding himself from the three other men surrounding him behind his bangs.

"Not like what?" Gon was still the most innocent person Killua has met.

"Like you two are lov-"

"I swear to the omnipotent being in the sky, if you say another word right now, I will not hesitate to rip your throat, Kurapika's lover or not," Killua's hand sharpened, added to the effect of his threat.

"Let's go ahead and get started walking, shall we?" Kurapika interrupted the two men's stare down to ease the growing tension.

"Yeah! I can't wait to be back outside! Come on guys! There's no time for fighting and arguing!" Gon looked like he was about to jump out of the ceiling if they didn't leave soon. The two men backed down, unable to resist the pull of Gon.

"Idiot, we are coming," Killua's voice anything but excited about spending time with ex-phantom leader, even if they were in a group.

"Let's get this date started!" Kuroro turned around, but he was still smirking, if not even larger than before.

"D-date?"

"It's just an expression. Say Gon, how many dates have you been on since you and killua left each others sides?" Kurapika seemed genuinely interested in his question.

"Hmmm, let's see…" Gon's eyebrows furrowed in concentration, "I think I've only been on one since then. She seemed nice, but she wanted to do more than I was comfortable with so it didn't last. It's not really appealing though."

"What's not appealing?"

"Well, the idea of having a woman. I just can't see myself being able to stay with a woman for the rest of my life with no adventures. I'd get too restless."

"So does that mean you like me?" They had traveled a few blocks down town, headed toward the park. People stared at their little group, two holding hands, one whose face was red as a tomato, and one who was staring with innocent interest at all of his surroundings.

"Hmmm, I had never thought about it that way before, so maybe? How does that work?"

"Well, it works the same way as it would with a woman, except theirs a few small minor details."

"That's interesting!" His eyes lit up in the way that forced butterflies to swirl around inside his stomach. _Why is Kurapika and Kuroro doing all of this?_ "It works just like it would with a woman. You still hold them" he pulled Kurapika into his arms, "You still kiss them," He leaned down placing a small, gentle kiss on his lovers lips, "You still want more~" He demonstrated this innuendo by grabbing his partner's ass and licking his lips-

"THAT IS INAPPROPRIATE FOR A PUBLIC SETTING!" Killua screamed at the couple, his face as red as a beet.

Kuroro just laughed as he pulled away from a half-lidded, breathless Kurapika who had even forgotten they were actually in public. "Say Killua, how about you? Found any pretty ladies who've taken you?~"

"N-no," Killua hadn't been expecting him to turn the topic around on him and he became flustered, at a loss for words.

"Is it that women do not entice you either?" More of the annoying smirk.

"No!" His denial came out more like a confession.

"So you don't find Gon's body sexy?" Killua could no longer function with words, his face so red, it was tinged purple from air loss.

"It's alright Killua! I think you're sexy too!" Gon gave the other male a hug, but pulled away to examine the source of blood now on his shoulder. "Killua's bleeding!"

Killua swayed in place, no longer able to keep himself steady, a face of red, with crimson flooding from his nose. Gon took his hand and lowered killua onto the ground. It took a few minutes for him to regain conscious thought. "Killua are you okay?" The mother hen inside Kurapika had come out, thinking that he may have take his joking too far. He shot Kuroro a look, _tone it down, okay?_ He received a slight nod in reply as they waited for Killua to respond.

Gon couldn't wait for Killua to reply, "Do you need more air? I can give you mouth to mouth!" Gon leaned down almost allowing their mouths to touch before Killua finally found the words to speak.

"I-Idiot!" Killua pushed Gon away, "I'm fine."

"Are you sure? That was all quite sudden," still in mother hen mode. _Why don't I have kids yet? If I can take care and handle these two boys, then surely I can take care of any child!_

"Yeah, I'm sure. Let's just go already." Killua stood up and started for the door of the hotel while mumbling something about chocolate.

"Okay! Killua! Let's go to the park!" Gon bounded after the silver-haired man, thoughts of the scene he had just come from rebounding inside his skull.

The street was warm and bright as the men walked through the door and out onto the city streets. People were busy getting to and from place to place. It was easy to get caught up in the crowd. Gon rushed through the crowd, thoughtlessly grabbing Killua's hand as to not get lost in the throngs of people. Killua's face never seemed to get a break from the torrent of blood constantly flooding his cheeks. Gon stopped for nothing and no one until they reached the park in the middle of the city, which really wasn't all that far to begin with. Their hotel was in a prime location downtown.

"It's been so long since I've been here! Everything seems so big!" Gon's eyes were as big as the sky was wide.

"Idiot, if anything it should seem smaller since the last time we were here you were half the size you are now!" both boys had forgotten that they were hold hands, just taking comfort in the warmth and security the other provided.

They had finally reached the park. It was not extravagant as far as parks went. There was a walking trail that winded around and through the park, twisting to avoid the swings and using a bridge to cross the small creek that ran straight through the middle of it.

"You two were bed ridden all day, yet you still have the energy of ten children!" Leorio regarded the two friends, walking up to them hand in hand with Alluka. Killua scowled.

"When did you two get here?"

"Calm down Onii-chan! We've been here for a while, we were actually about to start heading back now."

Killua scoffed, "Could you not do that "-he gestured towards their interlaced fingers-"around me?"

"Okay, fine." Alluka pulled her hand from Leorio's, "But why do you get to hold hands if I don't?

"Wha-?" He quickly retracted his hand from Gon's immediately missing the warmth it brought. "He dragged me here and grabbed my hand so we wouldn't lose each other." The blush returned once again to Killua's face. _What is with everyone today?_

"Alright," Alluka could read straight through her brother. "Well, we we're just headed back, so see you at the hotel Onii-chan!" She ran off and once they were a ways away they once again locked hands.

"Those two are going to get on my ever-loving last nerves," Killua huffed.

"But you love them! And they are happy together!" Gon started heading his way to the swings.

"That doesn't mean that it won't annoy me to see them together."

"Okay, Killua! Will you push me?" He looked up with innocent amber eyes.

"Of course."

They stayed at the park for a few hours, completely forgetting about the blonde and his lover entirely, but their job was done for now, so once they saw Gon and Killua together, they quietly walked the other way. They lay down on the open grass field, taking in the last of the burning sun's rays.

"Hey, Killua?"

"Yeah?"

Gon hesitated, "Will you… hold my hand?"

"..."

"I know you said not in public, but I feel really weird, and holding your hand makes me feel better."

"..."

Killua never said a word, just slipped his hand into the other males, interlacing their fingers and squeezing. They sat there watching the sun sink lower and lower into the horizon before there was nothing left of the warm rays except a dark blue.

"Hey, Killua?"

"Mmmm?"

"Thanks."

"Mmmm."

They walked back to the hotel, not once did their hands separate from each other.


	5. Have to

First week of school is over! Yay! Time to kick back and write!

Except it never seems that simple.

Oh well! I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I had so much fun writing it, honestly I was most looking forward to this chapter when planning it out so I hope y'all enjoy it too! Thanks for reading!

* * *

"Guys, I've found a great game!" Leorio exclaimed, pulling out a black box filled with cards.

"What is this?" Kurapika came around the corner, a cup of tea in his hands (he refused to drink anything but).

"A drinking game! Now that everyone is of age, or close enough for government work, I figured we could all let loose a little since it's been so long since we've hung out!" (This is the first time they've hung out all together as a group since they've come together this time even.)

"I'm down!" Alluka merrily came prancing out of the kitchen, holding the bottle of vodka they had just bought for this special occasion.

"What is this game?" Killua glanced at the too happy couple with skeptical eyes.

"It's called 'Never Have I Ever,'" Kurapika pulled out the instructions from the inside of the box, "'You start with the person who has the nicest shoes, then the person to their left starts the game. No one likes a show-off.' That's one way to put it. 'That person picks up a card from the middle and reads it aloud. Everyone who has done it takes a drink. If no one has done it, then the reader has to take two drinks. This continues in a circle until the last sober person is "standing."'" Leorio claps his hands.

"See? Simple enough!"

"Alright old man, but remember, I've been trained for this. I can't get poisoned by alcohol." Killua smirked in a way that only riled the 'old man' up even more.

"You're on! Alluka, pour the alcohol, and let the games begin!"

"This should be fun!" Gon looked excited as he was handed his first glass, "I've never had alcohol before, does it taste good?" He sniffed the glass but his nose scrunched up as if in pain. "It doesn't smell like it does."

"It will burn, but it makes you feel good, trust me!" Leorio was exuberant in his accomplished goal of getting everyone to drink with him.

"So who has the nicest shoes?" Gon looked down at everyone's shoes. Killua was wearing vans, Gon tennis shoes, Leorio scuffed dress shoes, Kurapika the same traditional shoes he's always wearing, Alluka with sandals, and Kuroro with… socks.

"I think it's obvious that it should go to the one without shoes on." Kurapika teased his lover.

"I don't have a problem with that."

"That's settled, so I will go first!" Leorio was sitting on Kuroro's other side. He reached into the middle to grab a card. "Never have I ever… Ran away from home." He sat the card in the discard pile. Killua and Alluka drank, and so did Kuroro. They already knew Killua and Alluka's story, but when Gon went to ask Kuroro what happened Kurapika cut him off with a look that seemed to say "you don't want to know" and he backed off.

"It's my turn!" Alluka chipped, breaking the tension effectively, "Mmmm let's see, never have I ever… Kissed a member of the opposite sex!" This time, Leorio, Alluka, Kuroro, and Gon took drinks.

"This stuff burns!" Gon almost choked on the drink. His eyes lit up, "But you're right! My stomach feels very warm now!" He looked in bewilderment of the drink.

"I told you!" Leorio smiled.

"Wait a minute, when did you kiss a girl?" Killua almost turned green with envy.

"Aunt Mito told me that women like it when you take them on dates to give them a goodnight kiss!" Gon smiled brightly, "But I haven't been on a date since Palm-san and I went out that one day before we went to NGO."

"You never told me you'd kissed a girl before!" Killua looked betrayed.

"I'm sorry Killua! I didn't know you would care about that kind of stuff!" Gon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly.

"Whatever," Killua picked up his card, "Never have I ever… had sex."

Kuroro, Kurapika, and Leorio all drank, but Killua's gaze was torn between his best friend and his little sister. He exhaled when Gon didn't take a drink, but that was quick to vanish when Alluka took a small drink.

"OLD MAN I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!" Gon had to once again stop Killua from ripping the head of their elder off of his shoulders.

"YOU'VE HAD SEX BEFORE?" Leorio wasn't worried about Killua, but focused on his lover instead.

"My previous sex life shouldn't concern you, and brother, you can't stop me from living my life." Alluka crossed her arms defiantly. _I probably should leave out whom it was too._  
"Nnn, I'm still watching you old man," Killua said while glaring at the eldest.

"Right," Leorio's mood had been dampened a bit. _I'm going to need a lot more alcohol to get through this evening._

Gon tried to lift the mood of the room. "Okay! Never have I ever… gone skinny dipping! … What's skinny dipping?" His head tilted to the side.

"Skinny dipping is when you go swimming without any clothes on," Killua said as he took his drink, avoiding his sister's gaze. "What you've had sex and you're going to judge me for skinny dipping? It was for a mission."

"Oh I've done that before!" Gon took his own drink, shivering as the alcohol burned its way down. "I didn't like wearing clothes all the time at home."

"A true Tarzan you are," Kuroro spoke up. The two youngest boys were the only one to drink. He picked up his own card. "Never have I ever… taken a bath with the same sex past the age of six." The two boys glanced at each other, before silently taking their drinks. They were the only two to drink to this one as well.

"My my, you two are sure taking in a lot." Kurapika teased. He had only taken one drink so far himself.

"It'sss okayy," Gon's words started to drag out longer, but other than a few slurred words, he seemed fairly coherent.

"I told you, I have an extremely high alcohol tolerance." _My head does feel a little warm though._

"Okay, if you need to stop Gon, don't be afraid to, okay? It wouldn't be fun if your first time drinking you got so drunk you puked it all back up." Kurapika, ever the mother hen.

"A-alrighttt." Gon smiled.

The game lasted another three rounds. Gon swayed as he sat on the floor. Kurapika was laying down in Kuroro's lap. Alluka had her arms around Leorio, who wasn't very stable himself. Even Killua was feeling the affects of the alcohol.

"Yay! It's my turn!" Gon attempted to pick up the card, since they had long since forgotten which order they go in, but his hand fumbled around before finally remembering how to grab the card. "NeVer haVe I eVer… Had a c-crush onnn sommeone i-in thiisssss rooommm." Gon emphasized the "V's" for no apparent reason (like "unessassary" quotation marks). Leorio and Alluka took their drink, as did Kuroro and Kurapika, seeming as they were already couples.

 _What do I do? I know that my feelings toward Gon are more than just friends, I wouldn't be thinking about things like I have been otherwise. But I can't admit these feelings in front of everyone! What if Gon figures it out and doesn't want anything to do with me anymore?_ The alcohol had made Killua even more nervous than normal. So much so, that he wasn't paying attention when Gon took a tentative drink, his eyes glancing at Killua through the corner of his eye.

Killua was brought out of his 'drunken' fears, "Gonnn, you've had a chrush on ssomeone in thiss room?" Kurapika spoke in curiousity, although he had already known this.

"Yup!" Gon smiled, but didn't move to elaborate.

"... It wouldn't happen to be me, would it?" Kuapika teased on, "I already have Kuroro, but I might could make an exception for you." He winked. A drunk kurta was a flirtatious kurta.

"He could never like…" Killua started speaking before his thoughts caught up with his mouth, but Gon cut him off.

"It's a secret!" He giggled like a schoolgirl who had a crush on the starting quarterback. "Was Killllluaaaa theee onnnlly one t-to not-t driiink?

"..."

"Killllllluaaaa."

"..."

"Kiiiiilllluuuuuaaaaaaa," Gon's voice dragged out more and more each time he wailed the ex-assassin's name. Clumsily he pinned the silver-haired man to the ground and climbed on top of him. "D-doo youu haVe a c-crushhh inn thissss rroooommm?" The sharp scent of alcohol was forced on Killua's nose, but he was frozen. His body's reaction was strong. If he allowed himself to move, he knew he wouldn't be able to control himself anymore.

"G-Gonn..." his voice was strangled and forced.

"D-dooo youuuu?" Gon drew his face closer to Killua's, leaving only a few inches of room in between their lips.

"G-Gon, p-please…" Killua's eyes were wide.

"Ffiiinnnneee thennn… Iiii'llllllll justt maakkee youuu t-tallllk."

* * *

Hey guys! Sorry if you can't read some of the drunk slurred speech. I tried to make it as easily readable as possible but at the same time show the slow shift from slightly tipsy to completely intoxicated.

I'm also sorry/not sorry about the clift hanger. Since I haven't gotten any more reviews, I'm not sure that anyone actually likes the story and it worries me. *Hides in a corner away from the demons of fear* The scared child inside of me afraid of anything that isn't perfection. But even so, I don't plan on abandoning the story no matter how much people don't seem to like it! I like it so that's what matters right? Whoops I'm sorry! I'm giong to try not to add too much of my personal life on here so until next time!


	6. Choose me?

**Sorry guys, there is no amount of excuses I can give you that can make up for this. Gomen~ But here is something. I still didn't love it, but I perfected it the best I could. I give you love!**

 **KuramaShadowFoxYokai: Thank you for reviewing. You made me get off my ass and finally publish this chapter! ~3**

 **For anyone else, if I begin to take too long again, then just smack me around a bit and it will help me get it out faster! Thanks guys!**

"Ffiiiinnnneee thennn… Iiii'lllllll justt maakkee youuuu t-tallllk," Gon closed the last few inches of space between them, granting Killua a sloppy, alcohol tasting kiss, but that was the last straw for Killua. He wrapped his arms around the slightly larger man, pulling him closer to him. The other two couples had already left, feeling the boys need to talk when Gon had pinned Killua down. Cards were strewn over the floor, a mess to clean up later. The alcohol glasses had all been emptied over the course of the night, some had fallen over in the couples haste to get out of the two boy's room and give them space. All of this went unnoticed by the two laying on the floor. The kiss stayed there, breaking the ice yet building a wall of tension in it's place. Killua growled in the back of his throat, his tongue piercing the threshold of the other man's mouth. Teeth clashing, tongues dancing, Killua flipped Gon over so he could pin him down, arms stretched above their heads. Killua ran his hands over Gon's chest, his shirt catching on his nails, the soft fabric gathering higher showing the tanned muscular abs. He couldn't help himself. The small amount of skin showing was the most tantalizing thing he had ever experienced. His hands moved lower, the skin becoming a magnet, an unstoppable force. Hs fingers lightly brushed over it, raising goose bumps and a strangled noise out of the other boy's throat. Killua stopped, some of his senses coming back to him. "Are you alright? Am I hurting you?" He was about to push off of the tanned hunk under him when Gon grabbed his chin forcing him to look him in the eyes that were fierce even half-lidded as they were.

"Idiot," his voice was husky and almost breathless, "More." And at once there was no coming back from this torrent of emotions pouring through the two young men. Gon's shirt was ripped from his sculpted back, giving Killua's hands free range to explore the whole expanse of the master piece lying beneath shot up Gon's body as an electric current covered Killua like his _ten_ due to his body's overexcitement. They only added to the heat and friction radiating off the two boys. Killua's mouth drifted down, wanting to taste every single part of Gon, explore every single crevice of this man who called him _friend._ He wanted to take in his smell for the rest of his life. He never wanted this to stop. Killua sucked hard on Gon's neck, leaving a trail of tiny bruises, as well as some not so tiny bruises, all the while licking, nibbling, and biting. Gon released a long moan and his back arched. He wrapped his arms around the albino quickly shredding the thin material clinging to his skin. It was tossed into a forgotten pile on the floor of their shared room. Their bare chest's pressed against each other. Both boys were covered in a sheen of sweat. Gon scratched his nails down the length of the exposed skin, leaving long marks over the already scarred expanse, and ultimately dipping his hands below Killua's waistband to grab the ex-assassin's ass. Killua gasped, his mouth leaving the expanse of bruised skin he's left behind to travel even farther down. He tentatively licked at the slowly hardening nipple, vaguely registering the other slowly hardening thing pressing against his abdomen. It was Gon's turn to gasp.

"K-Killua!" Killua shuddered at the expression on the child-like man lying beneath him's face, heat flushing lower.

"Do you like it when I touch them?" He pinched the tender skin, rubbing the nub between his thumb and forefinger.

"Nnnnnggghhhh…" Gon could no longer speak, the sound emanating from his mouth only spurred Killua on farther as he dropped his head back down to suckle his best friend. He tugged on the swollen nub with his teeth.

"M-more!" The word was both forced and quick. Gon clenched and unclenched his fists, not understanding what to do with them anymore. Killua wanted to take his time, relishing in all of his senses, but his member was large and throbbing, begging to bury itself deep into the ass of the other male. Killua traced the contours of Gon's chest with his tongue as he traveled even lower. Gon made a half cough, half gulp from the back of his throat. "W-wait!" He pushed Killua off of him and ran into the bathroom barely making it to the toilet before throwing up everything within his stomach. Killua was shocked from the sudden turn of events before he hid his eyes with his bangs and made his way over to comfort his best friend in his time of need.

"I'm surprised you lasted that long without throwing up. Idiot, don't drink that much ever again."

All Gon could do was moan.

Killua rubbed circles on his back, not minding the sheen of sweat that began to develop, "Yeah, yeah…"


	7. I can only

Sorry everyone for not only the long wait but the really small chapter. I am working on the next one right now. Life is stressful. I wish I had more time for myself and what I want to do, but with family drama ( a bucket load) time has a way of losing itself. Not to mention all of the scholarship essays and essays for school.

I hope you guys can forgive me! Gommen!

* * *

Gon woke up with a loud pounding in his head. He opened his eyes, half-lidded from sleep, and stared at the well defined porcelain chest he rested upon. He sighed in content. His eyes closed once more, _I could get used to this feeling of waking up like this.. I want to always be with killua…_ but his thoughts were interrupted rudely by a growling in his stomach. He attempted to ignore it, but it then amped up the volume. _My stomach feels completely empty. What all happened last night? Oh well. Besides this pounding in my head, i feel fantastic! Oh! I can go get breakfast and surprise Killua at the same time!_

Gon slowly got up as to not wake Killua. He placed a gentle chaste kiss on his friend's forehead. Killua's face relaxed and a small smile showed on his face. Gon got out of bed, grabbed the white rove he's become attached to and his wallet that had the room card and money, and left the room.

The carpet felt soft against his feet. He didn't mind the dirt and nastiness of the hotel floor because he was already resolved to take a bath with Killua when he got back to the room with food. He waited for the elevator thinking about his fluffy haired friend. Ding! he walked forward like a Pavlovian dog. Inside was a stern-faced man wearing a cloak.

"What floor?" He had a hand pointed forward, ready to press the younger man's desired floor number.

"First floor please!" _That is so nice of him!_

Gon hummed his own little elevator tune while waiting to go down to the lobby. He noticed a button off to the side of the panel. _I wonder what this button does? Does it go to a secret floor? Maybe I can go with Killua later and explore like we used to!_

But as soon as the door dinged open, the scent of bacon wafted into the elevator and all of Gon's attention went towards food, the mysterious button was forgotten in his mind. He practically ran when he saw the complementary breakfast bar and how empty it seemed. He diligently gathered as many waffles, eggs, bacon, sausages, and fruit he could physically carry at once.

 _I should get Killua chocolate! But that means I won't be here when he wakes up… Wait! I can write him a note like Mito used to do for me on my napkins!_ He wrote his thoughts on a napkin. "Dear Killua, I had fun last night!

I brought us breakfast! I don't know how long I'll be gone, but I'm coming back with a surprise! Trust me, you'll love it! Almost as much as I love you! -Gon." Gon stuck the napkin in between the fruit, hopefully where Killua could see it.

Gon headed back toward the room, a skip in his step. _I just want Killua to be happy. I hurt him. I want to make up for it. I won't leave until I have._ The elevator dinged once more.

Stepping on to the elevator, he tried to see around the enormous stack of food he had. Instead of compromising the food, he tried using his foot to guestimate the floor number. To his surprise, the elevator started to go down.

Realization hit him like a train.

 _I pressed_ _ **that**_ _button? Oh, but I wanted to explore with Killua! How do I get back up?_

Gon set the food down delicately. The doors opened to reveal a dark room. Curiosity got the better of him.

He took a step forward, immersing himself completely in the darkness.


	8. Bring you

**I saw a really cool idea with making the chapter titles a poem, so if they don't really match the chapter I apologize! :3**

 **Thank you all for your support in this story! I didn't believe this many people would support it, so I promise I won't give up!**

 **Umuaki Naho: I know I know, it's a cliff hanger! But I had to devise some way of making people stay around! ;)**

 **Sneezing22turtle: I love giving reviews like that, so to receive one in return actually made my heart swell up with joy, so thank you! (I also apologize... but I can't say I didn't warn ya!)**

* * *

"Gon?" Killua woke up to the coldness in the air, searching with groggy eyes for his best friend.

 _Where could he have gone… Wait! Did he remember last night? Did he leave because he can't stand to look at me anymore?_ Killua's thoughts raced faster than his Godspeed.

No longer able to hold back, he ran to find Gon. _He wouldn't leave without telling me! …Right?_

First he stopped in front of Leorio and his sister's room. _He has to be in here!_

Killua anxiously knocked on the door. "Yo!"

"Yo? Who are you 'yo-ing' this early in the morning you brat?" Leorio opened the door with a very upset face.

"You senile old man! Is Gon in here?" He wasn't in the mood to listen to him gripe and complain about how early in the morning it was. "Where is Alluka?"

"No, Gon is not in here and she went to the gym to work out, why do you HEY WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" Leorio's vein popped out of the side of his head. He huffed, _geez kids these days… Oh no, they aren't kids anymore, despite how they act! That does not make me an old man! I am only in my 30's! Senile old man my ass!_ Still he smiled. He knew those two boys like the back of his hand and they would forever hold a place in his heart.

He quietly shuts the door, shaking his head.

* * *

Gon woke to bright lights and a hard metal table underneath him. Groaning, he attempted to get up but was promptly shoved back onto the table by the leather restraints he had yet to notice. He tried to move his head to see more of his surroundings besides the ceiling, but to no avail. Suddenly, he heard a chuckle behind him, and familiar eyes popped into view.

The eyes may have been familiar, but the face was not. "Who are you?"

The eyes twinkled. "Wouldn't you like to know?~"

Something about the way they said it made Gon's adrenal glands jump into over drive. "I swear I know you."

The table seemed to drop from beneath Gon. It then jostled his torso upwards, so he was sitting much like one would in a dentist office. Now that the light was no longer directly in eyes, he began to discern the figure in front of him. Standing relatively short at maybe 5'4", a woman smirked at him with a hand on her hip. She had a very shapely figure, Gon wondered if she was an hourglass model. Her purple hair flowed down to her waist, cascading down like a moonlit waterfall, which was contrasted her pale skin. Her light amber eyes drew him back in, and he couldn't help feel nostalgic. These eyes seemed kinder than the ones he knew though.

"I don't get out all that often dollface, so it is highly unlikely that you would ever have come in contact with me~ The notion is very sweet though!" She danced with the grace of water.

"Where am I?" Gon, finally taking his eyes off of her to get a better view of his surroundings. White walls met concrete floors. Cold and separated.

"Don't you remember anything? You waltzed down here! It's only normal that I keep you for questioning you know... since this is _my space~_ " she leaned against him and trailed her hand up his side. Gon shivered, faintly remembering someone else's fingers trailing his body and not hers. His mind was still muddled from all the alcohol.

"I'm sorry! My hands were full trying to carry food back up to my room. Oh no! What time is it?" Gon tried once again to crain his neck around to see if there were any other indicators in the vastly empty room.

"It should be around four now. You slept for quite a while. You seemed to have quite the hangover~ I also smell another on you... perhaps we could replace the scent with my own?" Her fingers now trailed down his stomach inching lower and lower.

"I-I can't. I'm sorry! I don't like girls that way," He grinned sheepishly while blushing.

"That's a crying shame, I would have loved to take such a handsome man like you for my own, Gon. Oh well!" She danced away again.

Gon went to move, once again forgetting about his restraints. "You know my name? Why do you have me bound so tightly?"

"Because my dear Gon, I know your nen, and I know you can't do much with yourself all tied up like that!" She teased. "I know all about your jajanken! To play you need your hands," she winked at him. Her dress was short, but flowed to the back and sides and her sleeves stared half way down her arms, flowing out.

"I need to get back to Killua soon, how long do you plan to keep me here?" sweat started to bead on his temples, the intense lights heating his body up.

She finally became still, the playfulness all but lost in the intense rush of nen that suddenly filled the area. Water rushed from no where and flooded the floor waves crashed in the mini-ocean threatening to swallow Gon whole. The intensity of the nen, the familiar eyes, suddenly it all clicked in his mind.

And he couldn't believe this was happening to him right now.

* * *

 **A new character! I wonder who it is? ;) I wanted to get another section from Killua's view, but I think this is a great stopping place. I will Finish the next part soon hopefully! (But I do have three essays for school do, plus college admission stuff) I shall try my best!**


	9. Down

Hey guys! Here is a mini chapter because I've had no life, and I am avoiding the rules and constrictions of the real world. 3 I hope you all enjoy once again!

Uzumaki Naho: That really makes feel better 3 I didn't leave as huge a cliffhanger this mini-chapter. I guess it's just been ingrained into my soul by every anime I have ever watched... *Cough* Fairy Tail *Cough* Attack on Titan *Cough* NORAGAMI *Cough* But I'm sure that everyone has expirenced this agonizing pain. Maybe I can cure this one day! I'll work on it, as well as working on my pacing!

*I spent an extra day filling in some gaps, yay working on pacing! Doubled the word count, also a Fairy Tail reference:3*

* * *

After spending an hour looking for both Gon and the gym, (Could they make the hotel any more complicated to maneuver? He had to stop and ask for directions at various helps desks _seven times!_ ) Killua finally stood inside the empty room. He couldn't have missed her could he have? Was she just not here to begin with? Leorio had said that she went to work out this morning right?

Was that senile old man fucking with him? _I swear to Laxus, all hell will break lose and he will not have anything left..._

"Killua?" His sister came out of an adjourning room that was hidden behind a rack of towels, almost giving Killua a heart attack if it had been physically possible "What are you doing here?"

 _Oh thank goodness_ , "Jesus woman! I was just wondering if you've seen Gon anywhere? I woke up and he wasn't there and I haven't seen him around the hotel," Panic started to rise in his voice, his sister the only one he truly trusts with all of his feelings, "I've asked Leorio, and no one answered Kurapika's door, and I don't know what to do. What if he left because of last night? What if he thought it was a mistake? What if he never talks to me again?-"

Alluka threw her hands in the air to silence Killua and stop him from going all electric in the confined gym space. "Whoa, slow down! What happened last night? Why do you think that he would leave you? This is the first time that you two have seen each other in years!" Alluka attempted to calm her brother down by placing pressure on key points of his body.

"Last night.. Everyone was drunk.. He's never.. He wasn't thinking straight…" Killua very slowly came down from the edge of his panic attack (one of the only physical ailments that could actually affect him. They began when he was constantly on the run from his family and he didn't have Gon there to keep him in line. Yes, Gon did that for Killua as well, but more on when he over thought things instead of impulsive behaviors.) "We… made out last night…" His face was aflame with the confession to his sister.

"Whaaa-? Really? This is great!" Alluka pumped her fist into the air in victory, completely forgetting of her brothers almost panic attack.

Killua's hair hid his face, his face tinting the white hair pink, "You are making this a way bigger deal than it needs to be..." he mumbled into his chest.

"I knew it all along!" Alluka started to gain this mischievous glint in her eye, which was never a good sign for whomever it was directed towards... "When's the wedding? Which one of you will wear white? Can I be your maid of honor? Who will be your best man-"

"Allllluuukkkkaaaa, this is not the time for this! All we did was make out! Besides, have you forgotten that he's MIA? He's already rejected me…" Killua's eyes closed as he plopped to the ground with a thud, self resigned to sit in self pity for the next century.

"Onii-chan," Alluka calmed back down and the mischievous glint turned into a motherly one, "You know Gon is not that type of person. He confronts his problems head on. There is no way he would just up and leave you in the morning. I am sure there is a reason behind his absence. Besides he hasn't been gone all that long. See? It is only noon now. And I am assuming you haven't been awake for more than an hour. Maybe he just needed to feel the forest for a moment. He did spend these past few years living where he can smell the pine trees all around him."

Killua was barely able to hold back his tears, gritting his teeth to regain control over his emotions. Over the years, Killua had found the value in varying emotions, and knew it was okay to cry once in a while. Although lately it seemed to become a habit.

Alluka knelt down in front of her brother, taking a hold of his face and gently brushing away the tears before they could leave his eyes, "It doesn't matter how many years you two spend apart. You are best friends. You belong together. And Gon is not the type of person who would just up and leave."

Killua looked up at his sister, "Yeah, you're right. There is no need for me to get all worked up over this yet. I'm sure he will come back soon…"

Alluka reached out a hand to help her brother back onto his feet. "Let's go see if he has shown back up, alright?" She smiled almost as bright as Gon, almost.

"Yeah," Killua nodded, firmly grabbing his sisters hand, "Let's go." He allowed her to help pull him up off the ground where he left the negative feelings for now. Sometimes the voice of reason needed their own voice of reason. His sister knew him probably the best and he knew that she would never lie to him.

However, old memories threatened to break their chains. Broken chains can either lead to more pain, or a stronger you.


	10. With Me

Hey guys, sorry that I haven't been able to be the most consistent at updating, but I really try. Its just completely stressful. I am in my last semester of High School and I'm basically taking all college level courses. On top of that I have had a lot of family trouble and financial trouble. It's been hard to get the motivation to write with all of it going on at the same time. I hope you all can forgive me. _-_,

Phoenix-Thunder: Thank you so much! I'm glad I was able to find a way to make the two work together to your liking. I honestly don't prefer the pairing myself either, but since I was already placing Leorio with Alluka, I didn't want him to feel lonely :C I also didn't want this to be a straight fluff story, so now I'm throwing some heavier stuff in here. I'm not sure where it will end up right now. We are all on this journey together.

Uzumaki Naho: I think it made better sense in my head, but I guess I couldn't get my thoughts on paper as well as I had wanted to. :/ I'm sorry. I promise to better explain at a latter date what the end of it meant though!

* * *

The water rushed throughout the tiny room, filling every crack. The lights flickered above. Minutes went by, or maybe seconds, maybe even hours. Time could have stood still except for the torrent of water swirling and twirling, almost dance-like. Outside of the room it would have been beautiful, but in here, this tiny room, it was deadly. This small room could easily become a grave, so far underground and secluded, that Gon's body would not even be returned to the Earth that he loved. The trees would keep on growing, the seeds falling, but Gon would not be included in this cycle.

Gon's vision flickered under the stress his body was enduring. His entire body felt like it was being torn apart from the inside. He had already been underwater for seven minutes. He was reaching the end of what he could take physically and mentally. _Just who is this girl? What can she possibly gain from doing this?_ He struggled again against the leather bindings keeping him restrained, but the added pressure from the water caused him to make even less progress than when he had tried not 15 minutes ago.

Even under the water, her laughter cackled and bordered on crazy. Water surrounded her, a wall protecting and caressing her, almost as if it was coming straight from her own skin. Dark spots started dancing at the edge of his vision. In the middle of the dark spots stars shone. _Am I really going to die here, after finally making up with Killua for the last time I messed up?_

At the thought of never being able to see his best friend again, Gon involuntarily screamed from the sheer wall of fear the was heavier than the water flooding over him, losing what was left of his air. His body went limp as his muscles stopped working from lack of oxygen, his vision completely blackened like the night of the new moon. Mixed with the freezing water, Gon lost all hope of being able to survive this. _Please forgive me Killua. I didn't want to leave you this time..._

Suddenly, Gon began coughing out his lungs before he realized he was no longer surrounded by the storm, his body dangling precariously, the leather worn down from the water. Unfortunately, Gon no longer had the strength to escape, but his desire to continue living to see Killua forced him to raise his head, his vision returned from black only to be blinded once more by the sheer white walls surrounding him. Once he regained enough oxygen in his system to function once more, he glared at her, his eyes challenging, the fire aglow with desire meeting the glossy cold ice on the rocky battlefield.

"Hmmm, I can't have you dying just quite yet. I wouldn't be able to have any more fun now would I?" She leaned back against the wall and took in the damage wrought by her storm. Gon was the only thing to have taken serious damage. Her control of her storm had been focused on him after all, leaving the rest of the room almost spotless. "It seems you are just as resilient as I had hoped for. You should last longer than the last one they sent me. Jeez, that was just pitiful." She rolled her eyes at the memory of the last one. He had been frail, not even lasting a week, much less enduring the ten minute hell Gon had just endured.

"What... do you w.. want from me?" Gon's entire body started to shake from both the cold and the exhaustion of his limbs. He felt like he could sleep for the next week and be okay with it.

"What do I want? A test subject is all." She studied her nails, unpainted and short, for a long time before looking up to answer his question.

"Test subject?" Gon's disbelief written clearly all over his face.

"I need someone to be able to withstand the treatments." She casually gestured off to the side with a flick of her wrist.

"Treatments?" Surprise began to take the place of the disbelief.

"Yes, you see. I need someone to actually be able to mentally and physically keep up with my experiments."

"Why me?" Horror.

"Need I remind you that you were the one to waltz into my laboratory. Can't exactly say you weren't asking for it." A sarcastic smile graced her face.

"I didn't press the button on the elevator!" Gon became frantic, breath rising rapidly. His body began to shake from the frigid air and his anxiety. He had never been in a situation in which he couldn't get out of until this moment, not since the last time...

"Besides, I can't just let you go. Not now. You know too much already." She kicked off the wall and walked towards him, her hair flowing to actually seem like a waterfall. Maybe it was. At this point it might as well be.

"Well since I am apparently not leaving, can I at least know your name?" Gon, his eyes fired up, never once backed down, despite how exhausted he had become.

"Kiayre. My name is Kiayre." (KI - air - ay) She leaned towards him and placed a kiss on his forehead. "You can call me Kye for short."

She turned and walked towards the exit, the room having no sign that a storm had come through there with the exception of a cold and freezing 'test subject' who was dripping on the floor under his table. She tossed her hair over her shoulder, "Oh, and by the way, I understand why my brother has such interest in you. There's an amber fire burning in your soul that shines in your eyes. I bet he'd be jealous of me right now." She chuckled to her self and left the room

leaving Gon alone to his thoughts, alone, saddened, and deadly, as he slipped into unconsciousness.


	11. But

Hey guys, I know it's been a few weeks (I think at least) but motivation is in short supply lately. I worked really hard on this chapter, but I couldn't find a good place to end it like I wanted and the likes. Plus there's been lots of family drama going down that I've had to deal with. On top of all that I'm trying to finish High School, but dropping out and getting my GED sounds like a great idea to this hear honors student right now... One more semester. That's all I need. I can do this. Whoo!

Phoenix-Thunder: Thanks! I worked really hard on coming up with a name for her, but I am pretty happy with my original name. I don't like Gon suffering, but there really is no push to the story I have in mind with out it, so I hope you can bare with me :3 I didn't really want to write explicit details, so this idea came to my mind and I think it turned out alright!

Uzumaki Naho: I know. There has to be that one character though in every story. I apologize.

Alright, lol, now that that's over, I hope you guys enjoy this latest edition!

* * *

Dear Gon,

Here I am, sitting. Writing a note, you will probably never read. I was told that writing down my feelings can help. Six months, it's been. Six months is a long time. Some how, it hurts so much more this time. We were just kids before, friends bracing the years alone. This time, I thought you were here to stay. We could have started over. Have an actual relationship together, transcending the boundary of friends, towards the perfect relationship I have always dreamed of. It wouldn't be perfect in practice, but because I would finally would be with you in every way I could.

One month. One full month. I searched. I searched everywhere. I didn't sleep until I passed out two hours from complete exhaustion. I didn't eat until Alluka or Leorio forced me to. I would go days, weeks. I would stumble –wander- around lost in my own way, my mind a pit of despair. I had lost it, kicking, screaming, crying in the streets. I had become a small child who could not find it's mother. Dirty and alone in some back ally, collapsed into a heap of broken pieces next to the trash, which is how I felt. I lost all hope in you. I lost all hope in myself. I felt like I no longer had anything to live for. You were gone, Alluka's planning her wedding, and I have no family.

I guess someone walking by recognized me, and before I knew it Alluka and Leorio showed up to take me home. I guess this was about three months ago, three and a half since you had disappeared. She cried an insane amount, and Leorio gave me a lecture on making my sister worry like that. Like I wouldn't already know that, but I was blinded by my pain. I couldn't do anything except stare at her like she was speaking in a different language that I had no intentions on learning. My eyes, I overheard them speaking late that night, were dead.

I should have died. I wanted to die. I had clawed my arms to shreds. I lost so much blood. I should have drowned in it. But I didn't. I should have died from starvation. But I didn't. I should have died. I curse my assassin trained body.

I will still wonder why you left that day, what it was that drove you away, and maybe I will never know. You meant the world to me. All the memories of us at Aunt Mito's talking under the starry night about life in general. Every embarrassing thing you ever told me, and my inevitable blush that would come afterwards. Running from my family together. Playing Greed Island together. Sleeping together. Training together. We did everything together, until we parted our separate ways at the world tree. Finding you again, being given a second chance by life to do things over again. Even after having spent so much time apart, I still lo-

A soft rapping at the door disturbed the disheveled man at his desk, "Killua?" his sister's soft voice was muffled by the mahogany door, "I'm coming in okay?" Killua slid the note under a stack of papers already littering his desk. Random notes (such as "pizza is better with ranch" or "earthworms eat their own poop sometimes, or even worse, their friends poop.") of a man losing his mind and the various doodles, shaving, paints and other utensils used to put his feelings out of his body and into physical manifestation. He turned around to meet his sister as she walked into the room.

Alluka squinted in the dimly lit room, the only light coming from a small lamp standing next to his desk for easy access, "Oh, you're up already?" She moved over to sit on the bed close to Killua. The mattress gave way under her weight, causing indentations in the perfectly made up bed covered in a dark blue comforter.

Killua grunted, looking down at his hand laid upon his lap, sleeves rolled up, his elbows revealing the long pink ridges serving as fresh reminders of his pain.

She looked at his face, deliberately avoiding his arms, "Leorio called. He said the conference he was speaking at ended early, so he will be back later tonight.." The air was thick, almost drowning. " We wanted to have a small get together tomorrow."

Killua looked up, "Get together? What for?"

"Well, it's just been so long since we've seen Kurapika, and with the wedding still so far away, Leorio thought it would be good if he came over along with a few other friends to catch up." Alluka wished that she could somehow figure a way to cheer her brother up, but that was nearly impossible. The one person who could disappeared off the face of the planet, vanished into thin air.

Killua thought for a moment, "Alright, sure." Knowing full well she wasn't in here to ask his permission, but rather to see if he would leave his room for it.

Alluka's face lit up like a child on Christmas, "Really?" She could barely contain her excitement, just barely stopping herself from flinging herself onto him and instead opted to grab onto his hands tightly. "I'm really happy right now," She smiled with blurry eyes.

"Anything for my 'Luka," Killua smiled softly. The two sat there in comfortable silence for many minutes.

Ring Ring! The interruption of the phone in the other room broke the fragile silence as Alluka got up from the bed to answer the disturbing instrument she now wanted it to burn. Killua got up to follow her, but in her fowl mood she did not realize it. She answered the phone.

"Hello?" She waited for the response from the other person on the line. "No, I apologize but he is not feeling well today, can I take—Whoa!" Killua stole the phone from her hands, thoroughly surprising and scaring her at the same time.

"Hello? Who is this?" Killua was curt.

"'Lua! You can't do that! You almost gave me a heart attack!" His sister complained after getting over her initial surprise of him being out of his room. She mock stormed off to the kitchen.

"Hello! This is Kairye. I was wondering if you could answer a few short survey questions."

"This had better be short, because 'Luka wasn't lying about me feeling bad."

"I promise it won't take long. What is your favorite color?" She kept her word, getting straight to the point.

"Blue, what kind of survey is this?" Killua sounded skeptical.

"I am doing a project for my school psychology class, and I am conducting a survey of Hunter's Personalities."

"Alright."

"What's your favorite food?"

"I don't have one. Food is food."

"How long have you been a hunter?"

"Since I was twelve, no thirteen, so roughly 11 years."

"What drove you to be a hunter?"

"I was bored, and after failing my first trial I wanted to be able to travel with my sister and best friend."

"Okay, last question. What do you plan to do with your life as a hunter?"

Killua stopped. What did he want to do? "Protect my sister." He gave the generic answer that he gave all those years ago, but now that Alluka had Leorio, who was more than capable of taking care of her, what did he want to do?

"Thank you so much! I will send you a copy of—"she was cut off by muffled screaming in the background. She turned away from the mic on the phone to respond. If Killua wasn't already sure of him losing his mind, he confirmed it when he thought she said Gon's name. "Sorry about that. I will make sure to send you my findings when I am done!"

"Sure, whatever."

"Thank you for your time!"

"Alright." Killua hung up the call and put the phone down on the card table. Alluka came back into the living room with a tray with tea on it.

"Would you like some tea?" One could tell her voice was hopeful, but she was trying to contain it. Killua honestly did not want to go back to his room for once.

"Sure," They sat down at the card table. Alluka placed a cup in front of both of them.

"So what did she want?" She poured the tea, steam rising to fog up her glasses she recently got.

"Answers to some survey for her psychology class. I didn't feel like telling her no." Killua sipped the hot beverage slowly as to not burn his tasted buds. "What time is it?"

"Almost five o'clock."

Killua stared out the window, watching the birds flutter from tree to tree. Alluka and Leorio lived in a small mansion surrounded by their own personal gardens that was a little ways from the city. Leorio still had to make it to work at the hospital, or teach at conferences like he was this week. He was extremely well known due to his almost winning the election, so many schools and hospitals asked for his guidance. He would often complain that he couldn't just work on helping those who could not help themselves. He was an executive at the local hospital, and for those who could not afford to stay at the hospital, he had a special ward where he paid for their medical expenses.

Alluka on the other hand stayed at home most days. She spent her time crocheting, quilting, cross-stitching, or other artsy things. She did lots of DIYs to make their house feel like home rather than the plasticity of other mansions. She almost always had a smile on her face.

Leorio was home with Alluka any chance he could be, sometimes forgoing sleep in favor of spending time with the one he loved. They were a model relationship. Maybe one day…

"I think I will go for a walk," Killua sat his teacup down on its saucer. He walked into his room, exchanging his flannel pajama pants for the closest pair of actual pants he saw, dark blue jeans faded at the knees and pulling on a red flannel over his white t-shirt and grabbing his favorite pair vans. He moved back into his living area where his sister sat smiling.

She got up when she saw him, "I think I'm going to finish Abella's sweater she ordered. If you need anything else, I'll be in my suite." She had already cleaned up the tea set they had used, so she walked out the door in front of Killua into the hallway. Killua's suite was on the third floor, as Alluka's was on the fourth.

Killua didn't bother with the stairs, but instead jumps out of the window at the end of the hall. Alluka screamed behind him, rushing to his side to catch him, but ultimately failing.

Killua landed flat on his feet, completely unharmed (his sister's heart seemed to have taken the most damage this time), taking a deep breath of the open air he hadn't smelt in ages. There was a slight summer breeze gliding over his face, pushing his flannel back away from his body. He hadn't been outside since he was picked up. Alluka is really the best sister. Despite all the pain I put her through trying to deal with my own problems, she stuck around.

He basked in the sun's warm embrace. He pushed off into the labyrinth of flowers, their sweet aroma curling under his nose. Wisteria's reached down to tickle his cheeks, inviting him further under their canopy. Sakura's feign dominance in the grove of trees. Under their embrace, the grass becomes so intoxicating. Killua sat with his back against the trees, the warm atmosphere luring him to sleep.


	12. You make

Hey everyone, I figured that most of you have probably already given up on this story, and that makes me sad. However, I have been completely stressed out with multiple things this semester, and I have been unable to do anything besides school work and cry because of the stress. Now that That is all over though, I promise to try and get chapters out at least once a month. High school is the worst place on the planet. So glad I am less than two weeks from graduating :D I also thank you a lot if you haven't decided on giving up this story3 Thanks for believing in me and sticking through with it! On with the show.

* * *

 _Killua was surrounded by darkness, shadows creeping up in the dark. He tried to run, but there was no floor beneath his feet. He was falling into the unknown, with no way to stop himself. The shadows reached out, breaking the unspoken fourth wall, reaching to take ahold of Killua's foot and drag him further into the darkness. He tried to scream but they were silent, eaten by the perpetual darkness. After what felt like an eternity, he became blinded by a light from below, and he landed on his feet._

 _He glanced around to take note of his new surroundings. He was in a field, tall grass reaching his 14-year-old knees, the sun threatening to burn his visible skin. He was happy. In the distance he saw another boy, hand outstretched, inviting him to come with him. Killua ran forth, but the other boy began to run away, Killua could get no closer than a hundred feet from the boy. Frustrated, he stopped. "Hey! Why do you keep running away?"_

 _The boy in the distance had stopped with him, maintaining the distance._

" _Why won't you wait for me?"_

 _The boy was enveloped in silence, begging to be heard, understood._

" _Why are you leaving me behind?"_

 _Amber eyes pleading._

" _WHY?" Killua fell to his knees screaming to the sky._

 _The other boy looked down, before running until he disappeared._

 _Killua bawled more than he had in his entire life. Minutes-hours, dreamtime was never certain to begin with. Once his tears became silent, a whisper on the breeze grazed his ear,_

" _I never wanted to leave you behind Killua."_

Killua awoke with a start, Alluka standing above him with a worried expression on her face. "What's wrong?" He got up patting the dirt off his pants, legs shaking from his dreamtime running.

"It's almost dark, and I couldn't find you. I thought you had run away!" She crossed her arms over her stomach. Despite her anger, the relief flooded her face.

"I'm sorry for making you worry," Legs shaking from his dream, he composed himself. He would deal with it later.

She sighed heavily, "Now you have to make dinner for making me worry." Alluka turned and started to walk away towards the graceful mansion. "First you jump out the window, giving me a heart attack, and then you leave for hours, not responding no matter how loud I yelled your name. I wasted thirty minutes of my life searching for you."

Killua wrapped his arms around her, causing her to jump a little. "I am sorry for making you worry today. I am sorry for making you worry so much these past six something months. I'm sorry that I haven't left my room. I'm sorry I haven't been eating. I am sorry for making you find me half dead in some alleyway. I'm sorry I have put so much stress on you to take care of me. I'm sorry I've been a financial burden on you and Leorio. I'm sorry for so many things. I'm mostly sorry though for the pain I made you endure. I love you 'Luka." Alluka was the only one he could ever be this open with, and he was slowly starting to regret causing her so much pain from his own pain. Silent tears of guilt fell from his face onto her shoulders.

Her shoulders started to heave, as tears fell onto his arms. She wept. She turned and flung her arms around his shoulders. She began to laugh through her tears, until he joined in with her, both slowly falling to the ground.

Killua smiled and picked her up and began to carry her into the mansion. "Let's go watch a movie and make popcorn with _copious_ amounts of butter on it." She was positioned on his back like they used to when they were younger.

"You've got it onii-chan!"

They fumbled up the stairs with a clumsy balance, Killua not used to the added weight mixed with his failing to work out for the last six months. Once they were able to open the door to Killua's suit, Alluka slid of his back to go pick out a movie while Killua made good on his promise of popcorn with an obscene amount of butter.

Plopping down on the couch next to his sister, Killua grabbed a handful of butter.

"Killua! There's enough butter to give someone a heart attack!" Alluka giggled as she grabbed her own handful to shove in her mouth.

"Whey! I don't whant to shee you cohmplaing abouht it!" Killua huffed and shoved even more popcorn into his already over filled mouth. Alluka just laughed. Finally swallowing, "Anyways, what movie did you pick out? I swear if it's another rom com…"

"Of course not! … This time. I went in the middle and chose an action film. It's fairly new so I don't think that you have seen it before, but it has Iron Man and Captain America going to war with each other."

"Aren't they on the same team though?" downing more popcorn.

"Onii! All of the popcorn is going to be gone before the movie even starts!" She grabs the bowl out of his hands and places it on the coffee table. "Yes they are on the same team, however, that is why the movie is called civil war." She grabbed the remote and pressed play on the movie's title screen.

Killua slid back into to the couch and wrapped an arm around his sister. No matter how old she actually was, she was still going to be his little kid sister. She snuggled closer to him, laying her head on his chest. Not even fifteen minutes into the movie, she was already asleep, which was slowly pulling Killua under.

The movie was ending when Leorio showed up at the door of Killua's suit, questioning why Alluka would still be over here at such a late hour when Killua won't even give her the time of day any more. He knocked quietly. When no one answered he knocked louder. Waiting wasn't really what he was wanting to do, so he opened the door and peaked his head in the door, however when he saw the faint glow of the movie illuminating the two sleeping forms, he grabbed a blanket and placed it on them before slipping back out of the door.


End file.
